BILLY BALLONEY

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FiGhT THe POwEr!!

Billy Balloney is fighting mad and fighting back.

He is forming a revolutionary society to take back our lives! That means using subversive measures against telemarketing terrorists!

ALTTEXT

The picture above was taken outside Tiajuana Telemarketing. Someone painted the image of our glorious leader Ché Balloney on the wall with the inspirational message. "Fight the Power!"

How many times have you been interrupted while eating, watching T.V. or in the bathroom by some fast talking salesperson burning your ears off trying to sell you swamp land or magazines subscriptions about swamp land???!!

Well Billy says, "NO MORE!" We are taking our lives back and you can join the Revolution! Billy, or Ché Balloney as he's known to the troops, has some suggestions on counter warfare for the telemarketing terrorists:

  1. When you get a phone call and you know it's a telemarketing intruder into your home (they never pronounce your name correctly, and you can hear all the other salespeople in the background) just keep saying "hello? Helllloooo? Helloo?" and then hang up. They'll think you couldn't hear them. Even more fun is let them keep reintroducing themselves as you say "hello?" and let THEM hang up!!!


  2. If you get a 'rebate' that requires you to put all kinds of personal information down about yourself to qualify do this - Fill out the questionnaire as if you had the most bizarre interests.
    If they have a list of magazines you might read, select something like "Motorcycles" and "Doll Collecting". You'll get their demographics so fouled up their computers will melt down.


  3. If you forget suggestion #1 and they get through saying you've won a trip to tahiti or some exotic place, tell them you just got back from there yesterday and the food made you sick.


  4. If they try to sell you a newspaper subscription go into your best paranoid dilusional act. Say something like you don't need their newspaper because the C.I.A. beams messages directly into your brain. Telemarketing people hate to deal with individuals who haven't been on their medication. They'll usually move on pretty fast.